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Law Firms Introduce “6th Lawsuit Free” Promotion for Indigenous People

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TORONTO — Recognizing the litigious needs of their most disenfranchised clients, law firms in Canada have revealed a promotion that rewards loyalty and offers incentives for those who wish to pursue legal battles in the future.

“We want to give back to those who have given us so much in the past,” said Thomas Graves, who works for McCarthy & Meyers Law in Ontario. “The program is quite simple. Indigenous clients receive a rewards card that is hole-punched once a case is complete. Once they begin their sixth lawsuit, that one is on us!”

Law firms have been rewarded lavishly in the past through class-action settlements in Canada. From the Residential School settlement ($100 million) and just recently the 60’s Scoop settlement ($75 million), lawyers in Canada are now giving back to those communities.

“Look. It was Dr. King who said ‘The arc of the moral universe is long, and it bends towards justice,'” noted Graves as he teared up. “But fortunately for us, justice is long, and it bends towards financial wealth.”


 

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