ALBERTA – Recognizing the economic need of establishing an oil empire, a First Nations reserve in Alberta has accepted the Trans Mountain pipeline as one of its honorary members.
“This is exactly what the country needs right now,” said Chief Wilma Locklear of Big Foot First Nations. “Our checkered history with pipelines has been unnerving to say the least. But to have one come along and promise to turn the tides of that painful history is a god-send, no, a creator-send.”
As the first aluminum section of the pipeline was ushered into the ceremony, an emotional moment washed over the crowd. A drum group sang their honour song while the elders offered their prayers.
The pipeline is projected to send 890,000 barrels of oil a day, most of it carrying away the thoughts and dreams of many generations to come.
“We know the future generations would want this,” said Chief Locklear. “We hear them and they tell us, with confidence, that their dreams are pipe dreams. It would be foolish for us to bequeath empty bank accounts instead of healthy climates and bountiful lands full of all the food and water they would ever need. Just plain foolish!”