CANADA — Lifting up their little cute flags in celebration, non-Indigenous people in Canada were overwhelmed to hear the approval of their landlords. “We don’t ask for much from Indigenous people,” said Tanner McTavish. “But to keep asking 151 times in a row is making us nervous. I mean it’s awfully nice of them to let us stay here, seeing as we don’t really pay much rent.”
All across the nation, temporary flag tattoos and fireworks will populate cities and rural areas. People will congregate to the local pub for some celebratory libations. A man and a woman may conceive a child. A child will conceive a question or an idea on how this country was made.
The country will respond by saying, “We need to look forward!”
But that is what every nation with a suspect past will tell you.
On July 1st, Canada celebrates itself. Just remember to #thankanindian.
Oh, and be done by 10 pm.