WINNIPEG — Delivering the shocking discovery while flanked by a team of researchers, Prof. Dennis Coleman announced that history is not what it seems when it comes to the Crown-Indigenous relationship in Canada.
“This would explain a lot of things that are going on right now,” said Coleman. “The document in question is the first draft prepared by Sir John A. MacDonald and his cabinet members. After the preamble outlining how treaties will last as long as the sun shines and the rivers flow, it quite literally says ‘Psyche!’.”
The team of historians made the discovery while searching through the personal documents of John A. Macdonald for any evidence indicating that he wasn’t a complete douchebag.
“Boy, we were wrong,” said an astonished Coleman. “This just goes to show that the spirit and intent of these sacred promises was never meant to be fulfilled. Obviously, they removed this word in the final drafts of the treaties. Even then, fuck.”