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White Man Who Denies Residential School Legacy Is Actually Jealous Because He Never Went To School

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SASKATCHEWAN — In the days following the news that a school exam in Alberta offered positive views on Residential Schools and a radio ad in Saskatchewan denied any wrong-doing made by the education program, a local farmer stepped forward to reveal his true feelings on the matter.

“I only made it grade 3,” said Herbert Watershed. “Heck, I would have loved to make it grade 5… er, I mean 4, but I was not smart enough to impress the teacher. It would sure be nice to actually understand a few things before angrily spewing my ignorance on the Facebook and everywhere else.”

Mr. Watershed grew up in a small town and admits that some of his friends continued their studies into high school. He also remembers seeing some of them actually read a history textbook, although the chapter on “Indians” was only a few sentences according to the teacher, Pam Winterbread.

“I got to admit. Even if Herb made it to high school, he still would have been an ignorant piece of shit,” said Ms. Winterbread. “The history textbooks literally said ‘the Indians in Canada helped build the fur trades… nothing else happened’. Now how do you expect someone like Herb to develop a thoughtful and critical outlook on the matter of Residential Schools? You can’t. Our public school system is fucked.”

 

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