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Canada To Deploy “Thoughts And Prayers” Relief Baskets To Indigenous Communities In Poverty

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Regarding themselves with much pride in the work they have contributed to diminishing social inequality in Indigenous communities, the Canadian government announced that their new relief baskets will end all of life’s problems.

“We are excited to see just how these relief baskets will change the lives of Indigenous people,” said Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. “After many decades of inaction by the government, we have finally found a cure in the form of thoughts and prayers. We can not depend on mindless funding policies anymore, we need to take firm and effective action.”

Sources confirmed that the relief baskets will contain “prayer sandwiches” and “faith water” to help feed impoverished Indigenous communities. The program was inspired by the millions of people who have effected change simply by sitting at home and posting “thoughts and prayers” messages online.

From the gun violence in the US, climate catastrophes abroad, and social upheaval in destabilized countries, nothing has gone wrong since people learned how to type.


 

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