Trudeau Shows Trump How To Treat Marginalized Children By Depriving Them Of Clean Drinking Water
OTTAWA — Triumphantly calling his latest policy of not doing much to battle the water crisis in Attawapiskat the greatest move he has...
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Old White Man Grappling With Idea Of Foreigners Taking All The Stolen Land
Sneering into the camera and yelling incoherent words into the camera, a senior citizen unleashed a racist tirade on live television...
Canada To Deploy “Thoughts And Prayers” Relief Baskets To Indigenous Communities In Poverty
Regarding themselves with much pride in the work they have contributed to diminishing social inequality in Indigenous communities, the...
RCMP Says “Concerning” Arrest Video Doesn’t Contain Entire 152 Year Practice Of Police Brutality
“Look,” said RCMP Commissioner, Brenda Lucki. “We know how to handle this media shitstorm, because the fact of the matter is, we have...
“Happy Canada Day,” Says The Sad Sack Who Hasn’t Contributed Much In The Past Year
After waking up at 9:30 am, calmly taking a deep breath in his mother’s basement, and checking his social media feed, Tanner Hill took to...
Bank Of Canada Announces Search For The Next Colonial Leader To Feature On Canadian Dollar Bill
OTTAWA — Overwhelmed by the impossible task set before them, the Bank Of Canada issued a national search for the next person to be...
Jody Wilson-Raybould Caught Bribing Libyan Dictators, Trudeau Promptly Reinstates Her As AG
In an unexpected sequence of events, former Justice Minister and Attorney General, Jody Wilson-Raybould, has been accused of bribing...
Trudeau Unveils Plan To Send All White Children To "Reconciliation Schools"
OTTAWA — In a fiery speech to the House of Commons, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that his government will begin a program to...
Breaking: Award-Winning News Company Uncovers Senator Lynn Beyak’s Top Secret Website
In probably one of the most incredible and daring displays of journalism in the modern century, The Feather News has just unearthed...
In Reconciliation Move, Police Will Do Land Acknowledgement Before Arresting Indigenous People
In a bold reconciliation move, Canada’s police commissioners announced a new initiative designed to mend relations with the country’s...
Indigenous People Warn Anti-Vax Movement “Do You Want Smallpox? Because That’s How You Get Smallpox
After watching the recent surge in bored parents administering frontier medicine, Indigenous people in Canada expressed disappointment in...
Indigenous Leaders Wish MP Robert Ouellette Would Stop Calling It The “Tipi Of Commons”
Flummoxed at the prospect of admonishing one of their own, Indigenous leader across the country issued a gentle warning to the young...
Liberals Reveal It Was An Elaborate Prank Just To See Conservatives Listen To An Indigenous Woman
Announcing that the recent SNC-Lavelin scandal was just a hoax, Prime Minister Trudeau and his cabinet members began laughing menacingly...
Man Who Knows Every Marvel Character Has No Idea What Treaty Number He Lives In
Expressing profound joy over knowing every origin story of his favorite comic book characters, Tanner Flip-Flops stumbled upon the...
Nation Shocked That A Government With A History Of Colonialism Would Do This To An Indigenous Woman
Speaking on the recent developments on the whole SNC-Lavelin affair, local painter Robert Paulsen expressed his grief and despair over...
Uncovered Portrait Of John A. Macdonald Gifted To Indigenous People Evidence Of Very First Dick Pic
VICTORIA – In a stunning discovery, historians at the Royal BC Museum uncovered a 6 x 9 hand-drawn portrait of Sir John A. Macdonald...
Shit Show Proves PM Is Willing To Intervene In Justice For SNC-Lavalin, But Not Justice For Colton
In a move that has literally surprised no one, former Justice Minister and Attorney General, Jody Wilson-Raybould resigned from Trudeau’s...
Trudeau Doubles Down On Reconciliation Efforts By Unveiling His Eagle Feather Tramp Stamp
OTTAWA — Regarding his administration as the architect of modern-day reconciliation, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced he has...
Company’s Only Indigenous Employee Beginning To Think She Is Just There To Pad Diversity Numbers
TORONTO — Realizing that her salary far outweighs the disadvantages of working for a company that doesn’t appreciate her skills and...
Indigenous Voters Just Choosing Whichever Political Party Fucks With The Most Lube At This Point
Expressing a mixture of hope and confusion, Indigenous people in Canada outlined their voting plans for the upcoming 2019 federal...
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