2019: The Year Nothing Bad Happened To Indigenous People
The distant drums of reconciliation finally made their way into the hearts of Canadians as the 2019 curtain draws to a close. Across the...
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Scheer Disappointed That 50% Of Indigenous Children Live In Poverty, Says We Can Go Higher
Boasting about his political party's non-approach to Indigenous issues, Andrew Scheer made a promise that they would raise the percentage...
White Nationalists Mistakenly Endorse Indigenous Suffrage Because They Can't Fucking Read
Extolling the virtues of white nationalism and sacrificing oneself for a country they never built, a 300 lb diabetic meatbag announced...
Report: Just End It Already
An exasperated nation reported that they would rather just stay the fuck at home on election day. When pressed on which candidate has...
Man Who Grew Up In Mansion Knows What's Best For These Kids
OTTAWA - Reflecting on the incredibly difficult road that brought him there, a privileged white male discussed his plans to deal with...
Scheer Lays In Bed Dreaming About A Sexier, More Oppressive Indian Act
Dazed by his party's surge in the polls, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer spent the morning dreaming about what he would do as Prime...
Indigenous People Gather For The Ceremonial Choice Between A Ball Gag, Butt Plug, Or Dildo
Descending upon election season with a grimace on their face, Canada's Indigenous people will decide exactly how they want to be fucked.
RCMP Wishes For Simpler Times Like When They Could Just Give Up While Searching For Indigenous Women
Exhausted by the anguish of conducting a nation-wide search for the two “kind and considerate” murder suspects,
Trudeau Shows Trump How To Treat Marginalized Children By Depriving Them Of Clean Drinking Water
OTTAWA — Triumphantly calling his latest policy of not doing much to battle the water crisis in Attawapiskat the greatest move he has...
Old White Man Grappling With Idea Of Foreigners Taking All The Stolen Land
Sneering into the camera and yelling incoherent words into the camera, a senior citizen unleashed a racist tirade on live television...
Canada To Deploy “Thoughts And Prayers” Relief Baskets To Indigenous Communities In Poverty
Regarding themselves with much pride in the work they have contributed to diminishing social inequality in Indigenous communities, the...
RCMP Says “Concerning” Arrest Video Doesn’t Contain Entire 152 Year Practice Of Police Brutality
“Look,” said RCMP Commissioner, Brenda Lucki. “We know how to handle this media shitstorm, because the fact of the matter is, we have...
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