“Happy Canada Day,” Says The Sad Sack Who Hasn’t Contributed Much In The Past Year
After waking up at 9:30 am, calmly taking a deep breath in his mother’s basement, and checking his social media feed, Tanner Hill took to...
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World Leader AI Malfunctioning Causes Unknown
Trudeau’s computer chip was malfunctioning more than regular on Monday. It seems the AI algorithm was suffering deficiencies when...
Bank Of Canada Announces Search For The Next Colonial Leader To Feature On Canadian Dollar Bill
OTTAWA — Overwhelmed by the impossible task set before them, the Bank Of Canada issued a national search for the next person to be...
Researchers Conclude That The Indigenous Word For “Intermittent Fasting” Is “Poverty"
In a groundbreaking study conducted by Canada’s leading health experts, researchers concluded that Indigenous people have been...
Jody Wilson-Raybould Caught Bribing Libyan Dictators, Trudeau Promptly Reinstates Her As AG
In an unexpected sequence of events, former Justice Minister and Attorney General, Jody Wilson-Raybould, has been accused of bribing...
Trudeau Unveils Plan To Send All White Children To "Reconciliation Schools"
OTTAWA — In a fiery speech to the House of Commons, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that his government will begin a program to...
Breaking: Award-Winning News Company Uncovers Senator Lynn Beyak’s Top Secret Website
In probably one of the most incredible and daring displays of journalism in the modern century, The Feather News has just unearthed...
Aging Cousin Watching In Disbelief As Her Hair Becomes Colonized
Local throat singer Anette Littlefoot expressed disappointment at the first sign of her hair giving up. “First our land, now my hair,”...
In Reconciliation Move, Police Will Do Land Acknowledgement Before Arresting Indigenous People
In a bold reconciliation move, Canada’s police commissioners announced a new initiative designed to mend relations with the country’s...
Is Canada Racist? We Assembled A Panel Of White People To Find Out.
With the rise of hate crimes in other countries and at home, do you think there is a possibility that Canada is racist? “Yes, but…...
Indigenous People Warn Anti-Vax Movement “Do You Want Smallpox? Because That’s How You Get Smallpox
After watching the recent surge in bored parents administering frontier medicine, Indigenous people in Canada expressed disappointment in...
Indigenous Leaders Wish MP Robert Ouellette Would Stop Calling It The “Tipi Of Commons”
Flummoxed at the prospect of admonishing one of their own, Indigenous leader across the country issued a gentle warning to the young...
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