VANCOUVER — Flipping her blonde hair to the side while walking to the Range Rover, Taylor Smith just finished submitting a police report over a sexual assault allegation from 15 years ago. “The […]
Indigenous Woman’s “Rich White Girl” Identity Somehow Made Her Sexual Assault Case More Believable To Police
This Year’s “Sexy Cherokee” Costume Also Comes With The Full Experience Of Oppression And Disenfranchisement
EDMONTON — Crying to her herself while putting on the “Sexy Cherokee” outfit, white girl Callie Smith was looking forward to enjoying this year’s Halloween with her girls with a night on […]
Supreme Court Rules That MPs And Indigenous People Will Just Have To Settle Things By Indian Leg Wrestling
OTTAWA — In a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that legislation introduced in parliament that may impede upon Indigenous rights must be resolved through an Indian Leg Wrestling […]
Humanity Issues Final Warning To Climate Scientists
Still feeling outraged by the recent threats from climate scientists, a group of angry citizens issued a 936-page report condemning the actions of these “party-pooping” individuals. “Stop scaring the shit out of […]
RCMP Vows To Find New Ways To Criminalize Indigenous People Now That Marijuana Will Be Legal
OTTAWA — Flanked by her senior staff members, RCMP Commissioner Brenda Lucki outlined the organization’s new strategy to combat the soon-to-be falling crime rate among Indigenous people. “Never underestimate our ability to find […]
White Man Who Denies Residential School Legacy Is Actually Jealous Because He Never Went To School
SASKATCHEWAN — In the days following the news that a school exam in Alberta offered positive views on Residential Schools and a radio ad in Saskatchewan denied any wrong-doing made by the education […]
Third World Countries To Send Humanitarian Aid To Canada’s Indigenous Children
AFRICA – “When we saw the photos of children asking for new schools from their government, we thought it was taken in southeast Asia,” said Meredith Sey who works for the Ministry […]
APTN’s ‘First Pumpkin Spice Latte’ Brings Indigenous People To White Girl Communities
TORONTO — A brand new TV series aims to break down the harmful stereotypes attributed to white women in the city by bringing Indigenous people to a Starbucks for the first time ever. […]
Historians Discover Shocking First Draft Of Treaties That Just Says “Psyche!”
WINNIPEG — Delivering the shocking discovery while flanked by a team of researchers, Prof. Dennis Coleman announced that history is not what it seems when it comes to the Crown-Indigenous relationship in […]
New Indigenous Student Looking Forward To Being Shown Off In The Campus Brochure
EDMONTON — Recognizing that his studies would not be complete until he is used as a recruitment tool, Thomas Redbear expressed excitement over the inevitable fame that is bestowed upon every Indigenous student […]