OTTAWA — Feeling the love after receiving a nod from the Juno’s this year, MP Romeo Saganash celebrated by announcing he will be releasing a mixtape to commemorate such a wonderful achievement. […]
Romeo Saganash Scores Juno Nomination For Rap Album Of The Year After Saying Trudeau “Doesn’t Give A Fuck” About Indigenous Rights
RCMP Vow To Gain More Views On Their Standoff Videos Than The MAGA Hat Kid
OTTAWA — Marshalling the resources required to create a viral video, RCMP Commissioner Brenda Lucki promised Canadian citizens that their force will work harder to become the YouTube sensations they have been […]
White Friend Now An Expert On Race Relations After Watching A Few YouTube Videos
A local friend who works as a sandwich artist had some wise words for an Indigenous college student while both were out enjoying a few beers. “Listen, man,” said Tanner. “Identity politics […]
New Website Promises To Help Indigenous Couples Find Out If They Are Cousins, Will Be Called Incestry.com
Still reeling from their first date, Misty Littlefoot had an ominous feeling about the man she had just met. “I thought to myself this couldn’t happen again,” said Misty. “But luckily after […]
Indigenous People Will Now Call Reconciliation “The Clit” Due To Privileged White Males Inability To Find It
After a series of unfortunate events leading up to the name change, a group of Indigenous leaders announced a new strategy on their path towards self-determination and reconciliation. “We have been trying […]
Trudeau Dusts Off And Appoints John A. Macdonald Statue To Minister Of Indigenous Services, Signalling End To Reconciliation Efforts
OTTAWA — After brushing off the dust and debris from the old statue, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wiped a tear off his cheek and marvelled at the father of confederation. The announcement […]
Justin Trudeau Stands Up To Saudi Arabia By Showing Them How To Properly Suppress Human Rights In The Name Of Resource Extraction
OTTAWA — Outlining that no one knows better than Canada on extinguishing human rights, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau addressed the media to outline his plan to stand up against the oppressive Saudi […]
Live Action Remake Of Pocahontas A Chance For Disney To Accurately Portray Harmful Stereotypes In High Definition
After toasting other Disney executives atop their ivory castle, Chief Executive Officer Robert Iger announced plans for a reboot of the movie literally nobody asked for in the first place. “We have […]
News Reporter Interviews Deer In Vain Attempt “To Connect With The Local Indians”
After discussing the intricacies of bark biting and insurance fraud, CBC news reporter Tanner Smith looked over to Indigenous onlookers to see if they noticed how “at one” he was with nature. […]
Ecstatic Police Officer Wins Pool On How Many Racist Headlines They Made In 2018
THUNDER BAY — Celebrating his $500 gift card to Applebee’s, Constable Joseph Smith remarked on his accurate guess on how much negative press the Thunder Bay Police Force would make in 2018. […]