Indigenous People Gather For The Ceremonial Choice Between A Ball Gag, Butt Plug, Or Dildo

Descending upon election season with a grimace on their face, Canada's Indigenous people will decide exactly how they want to be fucked for the next four years. With a voting day fast approaching on October 21st, the stakes have never been higher for a group of historically marginalized people.

"The past four years with the Ball Gag hasn't been that bad," said Marlene Littlefoot, local voter from Red Fox First Nation. "He gave us funding, but in exchange for our consent and silence. Before that, we had to endure the Butt Plug for eight years which we are still limping from but who knows, perhaps this Butt Plug will be different. We have never had the Dildo before, so I think my vote will go to a new experience. Who knows, perhaps it will allow us to have a voice while getting fucked."

Indigenous people were disenfranchised from the voting process in federal elections until the early 1960's. Before that it was an all out BDSM fest where Indigenous people did not have a say in the orgy that slowly stripped away their rights. Since then, and after much organization, they have asserted their right to have a say in how they wanted to be fucked.

Sources confirmed that the political leaders are on the road offering their promises to Indigenous people or "funding as lubricant", if you will.